The Many Ways To Piss Off Professor Minvera McGona
by Detention Bound Marauders
Summary: Here are a list of things a Hogwarts student can do the aggrivate Professor McGonagall. I wouldn't suggest trying these, it really seems to make her mad.


**The Many Ways To Piss Off Professor Minerva McGonagall**

**1. Ask her why her robes are green when her house colors are red and gold and if it has anything to do with her having a crush on a certain potions master.**

**2. Meow at her incessantly and tell her that you can speak cat.**

**3. Ask her if she really was a Gryffindor or if she was truly a Slytherin, after all she does always wear green.**

**4. Turn Professor Snape into a mouse and give him to her as a snack.**

**5. Stroll into class late and throw lingerie on her desk and say it's a gift from Professor Dumbledore.**

**6. Give the Marauders detention for no reason, and make them serve it with her. Bad enough they are already in her house.**

**7. Ask Peeves to cause a disturbance while she's teaching a lesson**

**8. Charm her hair pins so that they fall out every time she tries to put her hair up.**

**9. Send Fred and George to her house over the Christmas holidays. That's more of a punishment than a present, no telling what they will do. There might not even be a house left.**

**10. Hide a stink bomb behind her desk before class starts, and when the smell gets bad, yell: Oh...Professor lay off of the tuna would you.**

**11. Ask her if she could cough up a hairball in the middle of a lesson**

**12. Give her a fake letter from Umbridge saying that she is coming back to Hogwarts to inspect everybody.**

**13. Give her catnip for her birthday.**

**14. Taunt her with cat toys when she is in her animagus form.**

**15. Give her "naughty" letters signed from Dumbledore.**

**16. Charm her robes to support Slytherin during the Quidditch championship match.**

**17. Rub it in her face that Slytherin has the Quidditch cup.**

**18. Fill her chambers with cats and tell her that her family is in town.**

**19. Call her mother lion.**

**20. Find a bunch of kittens and ask if they are her children**

**21. Interrupt her class like Umbridge and then offer a random person a cough drop.**

**22. Tell her that the Weasley twins flooded all of the bathrooms in the castle.**

**23. Charm cats to follow her and meow wherever she goes.**

**24. Ask if Mrs. Norris is her daughter.**

**25. Ask if she ever slept with a man in the castle.**

**26. Beg her to wear her hair down for once...like that will ever happen.**

**27. Put Severus and the Marauders in the same Transfiguration class.**

**28. Instead of asking to use the bathroom, ask if you could go use the litter box.**

**29. Ask her if Dumbledore prefers boxers or briefs.**

**30. Throw balls of yarn across the room to try and distract her to try and get out of a test.**

**31. Tell her that Dumbledore needs her now to help him with his "horn problem".**

**32. Tell her that Professor Snape has the hots for her.**

**33. Impersonate Dumbledore using a Polyjuice potion, and propose to her in front of everyone in the Great Hall.**

**34. Get the Weasley twins to sneak into her quarters and hide her hairbrush and to change her green robes pink...just like favorite co worker.**

**35. Have every wizard fight to the death for her and then tell the victor that she doesn't "swing that way"**

**36. Randomly start slapping her with a huge fish.**

**37. Beg Sirius Black to transform to a dog and bark at her before class when she's in her cat form.**

**38. Tell her you can hook her up with large quantities of catnip for a reasonable price.**

**39. Ask her if she was one of Umbridge's pets.**

**40. Tell her that you have seen her likeness on one of Umbridge's kitten plates.**

**41. Send her a howler from Umbridge.**

**42. Ask her what breed of cat she finds attractive.**

**43. Ask her if she has ever been in a catfight.**

**44. Tell her you are allergic to cats, and ask if you can skip her class and go to Divination.**

**45. Tell her that Trelawney is a better teacher than she is.**

**46. Tell her that Umbridge is a better teacher than she is.**

**47. Tell the Weasley twins to blow up the transfiguration classroom.**

**48. Ask her if she like her meat rare.**

**49. Ask her if she ever gets hairballs in her human form.**

**50. When she is in her cat form pick her up, and ask Professor Dumbledore if you can keep her as a pet.**

**51. Ask her if she likes getting her belly rubbed.**

**52. Swing her by the tail when she is in her cat form. Revenge is sweet after getting a bad grade and...or...a detention.**

**53. Ask her if she is afraid of water.**

**54. When she is in her cat form drop her in the lake to see if she can swim.**

**55. Put her in a muggle washing machine when she is in her cat form...Don'r forget to blame and or frame Peeves.**

**56. Ask her if she lands on her feet when she falls.**

**57. Sic a dog (Sirius Black) on her when she is in her cat form.**

**58. When she asks you to get her a goblet of pumpkin juice, bring her a bowl of milk instead.**

**59. Put a scratching post and a litter box in her classroom.**

**60. Put a toy mouse on the end of a string and charm it to move around the class, and laugh as she chases it. Then yell you really are a cat.**

**61. Hex her to remain a cat for the Quidditch games as the Gryffindor mascot.**

**62. Give her a lion animal candy when she's a cat and then call her moma lion.**

**63. Give her a potion and tell her it's a deageing potion...Remember to say that it's from Professor Snape.**

**64. Give her a pair of old smelly wool socks and say that Professor Dumbledore wanted you to have these.**

**65. Lock her and Dumbledore in the potions storage closet and not let them out until they snogged each other senseless.**

**66. At the beginning of term brew a polyjuice potion, turn into Headmaster Dumbledore and tell her that she will be teaching Divination.**

**67. Ask Professor Trelawney to predict her future.**

**68. Lock her and Snape in the potions storage closet and not let them out until they have snogged each other senseless.**

**69. Transfigure her meals into cat food.**

**70. Turn all of the desks into pigs during one of her lessons.**


End file.
